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What I wrote in the Forum:

Posted: May 9, 2010 - 10:15 pm

Bipolar Mother's Day

Question: I need a song that will convey a message of forgiveness and apology to my estranged mother, and any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. So, do you know of any good songs for forgiveness?

Background:
So, my mother and I are both bipolar-- and a few months ago we had a major falling out. Today, rather than see me for mother's day, she offered to work at her friend's new restaurant-- and she fled her house as soon as she found out I was still (despite her having said that she couldn't go with us to mother's day brunch) coming to give her mother's day flowers. So, I didn't get to give them in person.
My step-dad says that she is still hurt over what happened when we had our big fight, and I'd suspected this to be the case, despite her seeming pretty kosher around me in the few occasions in which we were in the same place at the same time, but there were always a bunch of other people involved then. She seemed less than warm on the phone today, when I finally got her on (with my step-dad's help-- he handed her the phone, and told me she was still within speaking distance, which indicates to me that her animosity over our relationship has been affecting parties apart than the two feudal ones, i.e. the two of us). I suspected that it was time of month, since she hasn't been as short with me on the phone since the aftermath of our initial falling out. My step-dad cited another range of possibilities-- for one, the sad date;namely mother's day. Then, also she was a bit ticked about having been invited to brunch with the other side-- meaning my dad's side-- my side-- of the family; even though she has been fighting a one sided battle, seeing as she's been the only one to throw any punches, while this side (aside from myself) has been trying its best to keep the peace between the two families, even whilst having to bend over backwards to accommodate her--- speaking through an interpreter, for example, the interpreter being my step-dad, who unfortunately must face the heat of my mother, while attempting to pass simple communications from one side to the other. My mom doesn't want to associate herself with this side of the family, since she feels that my father somehow; in raising my brother and I, without any help from her; embittered me against her, caused her to sprout gray hairs, and managed to be the cause of every one of her perceived problems-- from the weather, to a hangnail, to her outrageous phone bills (none of which has anything to do with my father or us, and her phone bills especially, since she never calls here).

Enough of my ranting.
Basically, I just want to keep the peace now, and since she isn't mature enough to toughen up and endure the company of her ex-husband, her eldest daughter (me), and (the one who made reservations for the traditional mother's day brunch) my sweet 95 year old grandmother (who loves her dearly, and is hurt by my mother's sudden aversion to her); well, then I'll be the grown up, and I'll be the one to go out of my way to make peace with her.

I'm 15 years old, so it's high time I took some more responsibility for her-- and I can't allow this animosity to continue to hurt individuals on either end of the conflict-- I'd really like her to reconcile herself with my grandmother, and I'd love to see my newest baby brother, who will grow up without ever having known me-- the first person he saw when he came into this world.

I have seen the power of music, and believe in the healing powers of art.

Do you have any suggestions for songs I might sing, and send to her, in order to seal and immortalize my apology?

I need something she can hear, a song that would convey my message of "please forgive, I don't expect you to forget it, and I know I've done wrong, but I'm completely open to being friends again, and I'm willing to forget any bitterness on my part to the best of my human capacity. I just want to be friends, and it's okay to feel hurt, it's completely understandable, but it only hurts everyone much more when we stay bitter and hurt, and I think to forgive each other would be of benefit to all.." and maybe even something she feels is worth listening to. Any suggestions? Any input is highly appreciated.